How to detect idiots. Issue 1 – Their behavior in a queue(part 1):

This section seeks to provide a very valuable instrument to readers. Knowing whether a person who you see daily is an idiot or not is a simple thing to do. Furthermore, this knowledge comes to us spontaneously, almost inadvertently. However, we have the misfortune of living in society with thousands of idiots around us who condition our lives whether we want it or not. Due to the huge amount of morons that inhabit planet earth, is impossible, first, to be all the time at ease, without caring  about them and, secondly, to be constantly evaluating whether the person we are about to come across in the street is or not an asshole.

In this state of things, my goal is to share my knowledge on how to quickly identify an idiot. In this case I will refer to an everyday situation: standing in line to buy something, to ask for information, to get on a bus, etc, etc, etc.

There are plenty of studies that say that an average person spends many months of his life in a line. I do not remember the exact number, but it is a lot. Since no one likes to wait, the mood of the people in this situation is usually not the best. Everyone is angry with the cashier because they are very slow, because they waste time on unnecessary things or, if we are dealing with a public employee, because they are playing solitaire and eating a croissant in front of everyone without giving shit. Irritation basically arises from the feeling that we could be doing something much more important than waiting and looking at the ceiling while Susan makes a terrible decision on his solitaire game or she clicks on a cell that is clearly a mine.

A person who is not an idiot realizes that they would not be doing anything too valuable with their time if they were not wasting their time in the line. However, we recognize that there are times when we have to arrive at a meeting or work by a certain time. I'll say: you're an idiot for wanting to squeeze too many activities in a period of time that clearly was not enough.

What are the symptoms that tell us that this person is an idiot then? Basically the way they behave, which denotes an exaggerated anxiety. The result is that a row from which no one has left yet is becoming shorter a shorter. This leads me to say: sir standing behind me, since we have to wait 20 minutes to be served, why not leaving two fucking feets between your humanity and mine so you can stop breathing in the back of my neck? If you want to "suggest" that you would love to be doing this same thing in a bed with less clothes on, this is not the right way to do it. First, buy me some flowers and chocolates. Then we can talk. Otherwise, stay away because all that you will achieve is that I will want to discuss with the person accompanying me (who went through a rigorous selection process and who is now allowed to get within two feet of my humanity) what a jerk you are, but without actually letting me do it because you are at less than half a meter from me!

Some people think that if they get really close together, then the cashier will notice that people are crammed and will have mercy on them, acting more quickly because of that. But this is not quite so. The cashier has a crappy job. She must be 8 hours per day, often with only a break to eat a crappy sandwich and go to the bathroom. She is very low in the scale of modern society´s labor world. Therefore, it is understandable that she has a slight grudge against a person in the queue that is on a suit or against a woman whose only important decision in life was marrying the right man. Hence, the only interest of the cashier is doing his job without getting stressed while avoiding her boss anger. If the cashier sees that the queue measures two meters, she will think that it is still within the length allowed by her boss.

It would be interesting to see what would happen if those of us in the queue would leave good room between us so that the same queue measures 5 meters. I think the cashier will automatically try to reduce it by acting more quickly.

For some examples of daily situations in which we suffer these "people", please proceed to Part 2.